Millions Of Questions
I
If I said I love you
I wonder what you'd say ?
Would it be I love you too ?
Or what's for tea today ?
And if you saw me crying
Would you pass me tissues ?
Or just turn away from me ?
Simply avoiding all the issues ?
If I said I was ill and dying
What would be your reaction ?
Would you be able to face it ?
Or just feign another distraction ?
For the past two and a half years
Each day so dark without enjoyment
Is this all that life now holds for us ?
Because we can't find employment…. ???
II
Millions of people asking questions
All wanting exactly the same thing
A return to a decent way of life
Lost pride, that’s the cost of living
By
Ron Renton
22 comments
Particularly love the second stanza.
Nice work, Ron. Really nice.
Thank you Moles
I have edited it a little.
Not sure it is exactly what I intended.
I was trying to achieve something that could be looked at two different ways.
Both a conversation between two people
and
People on the street that we pass, sometimes giving, other times ignoring.
It’s very good, and I like how you’ve tweaked it. It does flow much better (though I did not have a problem with it first time around.)
Final tweak it’s now completed… I hope
I was going to say I think you tweaked it a little too much now, but I don’t think you have. I think I just liked it how it was before and now it feels almost like a completely new work to me.
Not easy this writing malarkey, is it?
Brilliant point! I do feel that some of the second lines in the stanzas are slightly too long though, but then again I guess it depends on how you read it
Really love it though!
Thank you for your comment,
I really appreciate your advice too and have edited slightly.
I read this earlier, I still feel the two lines are a little out of flow with the rest but the sentiment is lovely .
Helen
Hi Helen… edited further… let me know what you think.
reads so much better, I just sound poems out in my head ,not sure how things workout but somehow they do, BTW did you mean fain or feign
Helen
A whispered “thank you” again Helen…
I meant feign (as false detraction) spelling was never my best subject…
I have since found that fain means willing as in “willing to go” fain to go.
I’ve started singing your stuff to the blues – and in this case it turned out to be the right riff… David
Nice thing to say David… Glad you appreciate a good tune
I’ll have to write about some happier subjects to get you rockin’
thats really sweet i loved the part in the middle
Thank you Sophie
I really liked the different paths that were described in this poem. Will it go this way or that??
Thanks Georgie for all of your comments, they inspire me to push myself further.
Verry Nice! well done
Check out my profile!
i have a poem about question too
Thank you and I will…
Just added a last verse… let me know what you think ?
Hi Ron, I’m fairly new on here and have only just come to this via Eternal Love. Like the poem as a whole, but think there is also another poem that perhaps starts with the last verse, and then asks another million questions? Val
Hi Val,
Thank you for your kind comments, they are really appreciated.
The last verse was added a few day’s after original posting, however, if they are similar in any way to any other poem, it is I assure you purely coincidental.
I’m not offended in any way, as we are a nice friendly bunch of people here on Jottify.
However, I do assure you that all the works I publish here are my own.
The only thing that may have confused you is that I have just re-listed them for public viewing… so you may have read this work around four weeks ago.. or even before that.